I mean, really

I got up at 5:30 this morning and made Joe pancakes and bacon for breakfast before work.  This may sound like a nice way to wake up, but evidently he woke up to me gone from the bed and heard banging around in the kitchen and thought that I was in labor.  So he was all excited that we were having a baby today and instead he got blueberry pancakes. 

To be fair, the only reason I got up was that I woke up at 4:30 with the ridiculous Nannerpuss song stuck in my head. 

Twiddling Thumbs

So I'm still here.  Sigh.

Joe keeps telling me I'm going to go late, and I suppose statistically he's right.  (I've read that most first-time moms deliver at 40 weeks 3 days, or something like that)  But I'm still holding out hope that maybe this weekend or early next week will be my time.  It's getting a bit boring sitting around all day just waiting.

I've been trying to pass the time by walking, cooking, napping, and visiting friends, but all of those things can only take up so much time in a day.  Clearly I haven't been too busy blogging, but I assure you I'm still reading other blogs obsessively.  I just feel like other than "oh my god I still don't have a baby" I really have nothing to say.

So, yeah.

Still here.

Still no baby.

Still hoping it will come soon.

As far as updating when my time finally does arrive, I promise I will at least try to post something in the vein of "uh, contractions?  maybe?  going to the hospital I guess?"  And then make Joe log on and update once the little one has actually shown up.

Stealing a Meme

I'm borrowing this from Linda, so that I can finally post something that's not pregnancy related, god.

My parents are coming to visit for the weekend to help with some final nursery preparations and undoubtedly hope that I will go into labor while they're here so that they can meet the little one.  I'll do my best to try to oblige, but in the meantime I'm looking forward to a quick visit to help pass the time.  

And without further ado:

What are your middle names?

Mine is Rene (yes, spelled the French masculine way), Joe's is Michael.

How long have you been together?

About 3.5 years.  A year of dating, nine months of engagement, and we'll be married 2 years this May!

How long did you know each other before you started dating?

About eight months.  We met in grad school during a three-week January class that met two nights a week and all day Saturday.  We next saw each other in a class that started in August and...

Who asked out whom?

Joe asked if I wanted to get together for a drink sometime.  I kind of panicked, and immediately invited him to a new-apartment party my roommate and I were having that weekend, figuring it would be less awkward than an actual date.  He couldn't come, since he was attending his great-aunt's 90th birthday party (awww) so we actually ended up going to dinner the next week and the rest is history.

How old are each of you?

I'm 27 and Joe is 31.

Whose siblings do you see the most?

Probably my brother.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?

Currently we're making a lot of transitions (into parenthood, I've stopped working, Joe will be leaving for 3 months at some point this summer for a Navy program, finances are changing, etc.) so I think that's causing the most stress lately.

Did you go to the same school?

We both went to Johns Hopkins for grad school.  I also went there undergrad, but Joe went to Johnson and Wales in Miami.

Are you from the same home town?

Not at all.  Joe was born on the Eastern Shore of Maryland and raised in Orlando.  I'm from Grand Rapids, MI.

Who is smarter?

Joe always tells me I am, and on paper I might be.  However, he definitely has more knowledge that is actually useful, so I'd say it's a draw.

Who is the most sensitive?

Shockingly, I am.  Ha!

Where do you eat out most as a couple?

Lost Dog Cafe, our favorite pizza place.  Although since we bought our condo we're now about 35 minutes away and don't get there as often, but we love it still.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

Belize for our honeymoon.

Who has the craziest exes?

Probably me, if only because we never really talk about exes so I don't ever hear about Joe's.

Who has the worst temper?

Definitely Joe.  He can go from 0 to loudly-and-embarrassingly enraged in no time.  It takes me awhile to get warmed up.

Who does the cooking?

Joe, with his culinary degree, is definitely the better cook.  But since I'm now home all the time I've taken over the task of dinners every night.

Who is the neat freak?

I'd say we're about the same, but that luckily we play off each other to keep things cleaner than they probably would be.  I know he hates when the bed is unmade, so it gets made first thing every morning even though I'd probably leave it.  He knows I hate sponges in the sink, so he takes them out, etc.

Who is more stubborn?

That one could be a draw, actually.

Who hogs the bed?

Totally Joe.  We have a full mattress, and with my huge pregnant belly and unwieldy body pillow you would think I would be the problem.  But Joe insists on sleeping smack in the middle of the bed, leaving me approximately 8 inches in which to maneuver.  He claims he likes to be by me, but I don't buy it.

Who wakes up earlier?

Joe, especially now that I'm not working.  But I try to get up with him a few mornings a week to make him breakfast and chit chat while he gets ready.  Today I got up at 5:45, went back to bed when he left at 7, and then got up again around 10.  Heh.

Where was your first date?

A tapas restaurant in Penn Quarter downtown DC.

Who is more jealous?

Neither of us, really.

How long did it take to get serious?

I think we were pretty much 'exclusive' after the first date, and within a month or so we were spending all of our weekends and a night or so a week together.  He came home with me that first Thanksgiving to meet the family and we'd only been together a couple of months.

Who eats more?

Definitely me.  Obviously while pregnant, but pretty much the rest of the time too.  Haha.

Who does the laundry?

I do.  We used to take turns, but again: unemployed.

Who's better with the computer?

Joe for sure.  I have no patience with electronics and absolutely no desire to learn.

Who drives when you are together?

Usually Joe, but I've clearly been the designated driver these past nine months.  And if we drive anywhere far I usually drive since he hates it.

Ok, I'm done!  Anyone else?

Mmm, Bread

Remember that kid's story about the red hen who's baking bread and keeps asking everyone if they want to help her?  And of course no one does, because why help grind grain when you can be running around the farm or whatever, and also, dude: just go to the store and buy a loaf.  At the end of the story she's done everything herself and baked this delicious bread and naturally everyone who just couldn't be bothered to lend a hand now suddenly fancies a slice.

That, in a nutshell, is how I'm feeling about this baby.  I'm not saying this is the most rational emotion I've ever experienced, but hello, I'm huge and eight and a half months pregnant, no one expects me to be rational.

Joe wants everyone we know to show up at the hospital after I deliver so that he can play the proud papa and show off the little one to everyone.  I am having trouble sleeping at night as I imagine my mother-in-law coming into the room and immediately trying to take the sleeping baby from my arms as I instinctually hug my child closer.  Am I nuts here?  I'm sure that I'll be just as enthralled with our perfect tiny baby and want all of our family and friends to come and behold! For I have borne a child on this day.

But honestly, I feel like unless you were there to make this child, or carried the baby for nine months, why should you have any claim to the spoils?

Anyone want to gain 35 pounds in 8 months?

How do constipation and hemorrhoids sound to everyone?  No?

What about not being able to take the train for 12 weeks because it's the one thing that will make you sick?  Anyone?

Blinding headaches?  Backaches?  Hips feeling like they're going to shatter?  No one, really?

Spotty sleep, clothes that don't fit, constant thirst, frequent urination?  Seriously, no takers?

Want to come cuddle a brand new baby and only give it up when it needs something?  We-e-ellll, then, I see how it is.

I mean, honestly, if I'm completely nuts here please tell me, because I feel like I'm being a bit, shall we say, melodramatic?  Overprotective?  Possessive?  

But at the same time, I'm a first time mom about to have this precious child for which I've been solely responsible these past nine months cast out into the big bad world and in danger of God knows what.  I think I should have first dibs on cuddling my baby until I'm so exhausted I feel like handing it off to someone else for a bit, you know?

So that's basically where I've been the past few weeks.  Over thinking things that hopefully won't matter at all, sitting on my couch ingesting numerous tubs of ice cream, and generally waiting to meet my offspring.  Seventeen days til my due date people, (17!) and I'm still holding out hope that this kid is born in February.  I'm excited, and exhausted, and enormous, and really, I just want to be done with this.  I'm ready to see my baby now, kthanx.

Magic Belly

Welcome to my daily life on the couch!  Please note oversized Orlando Magic t-shirt that still comfortably covers the belly, ladylike posture to accommodate said belly, and unamused cat.  Also: booze waiting patiently in the background.  Please ignore cat hair-covered blanket, unwashed, just-got-home-from-a-walk-and-it's-freaking-windy-out hair, and horrid glare from the chandelier.  

So, does anyone have any big Valentine's plans?  Technically, we said we weren't getting each other anything, but it has been hinted to me not to make any plans for Saturday.  I assume we're going out to dinner.  So tomorrow I plan on making a nice dinner to surprise Joe when he gets home, and using our wedding china that we've used maybe twice and will probably never again now that children are imminent.  Well, child anyway.  Joe's favorite dessert is anything involving ice cream or not involving excess chocolate.  I'm torn between just buying him an ice cream cake and making this Nigella Lawson raspberry pavlova recipe (albeit pared down for more like 3-4 servings).  Thoughts?  Bear in mind I have nothing but time, people.

Oversharing Monday

I'm starting this week hoping that it's better than last week.  Last week brought a new stretch mark for each day, and a new reason for me to be entertained by Sundry's post from a few weeks ago.  Seriously: ugh.  Also: ouch!

I guess on the plus side, I finally learned how to spell the word hemorrhoid, which clearly everyone should know.  So there's that.  I also got the joy of buying some disgusting personal, er, toiletries as quickly and discreetly as I could with the self-checkout machine.  

I will admit that quite honestly I had read about this lovely symptom in pregnancy books and online and always thought to myself "ew, there's no way I'm getting *that* symptom."  And lo and behold, made it a full 35 weeks before *that symptom* popped up to say hello.  I was a bit miffed when I went in to see my midwife last week and, while doing my GBS swab all she said was "yup, there's a little one right there."  That's it?  A "little" one?  What do I DO about that "little" one to get rid of it?  No one seems to know!  

Ahem.

In other, oversharing news, I followed up my embarrassing shopping trip with a regular trip to the grocery store where I used a coupon for $5 off a 'his and hers' intimacy enhancer.  Where I simply placed the coupon on top of the box and sent it down along the conveyor next to my toilet paper and my various flavors of activia yogurt.  I think the small grandmother-ish cashier gave me a look when she rang it up, but I was studiously searching for my wallet, so I can't really be sure.  And either way, I guess she figures I had to get in this enormous pregnant state somehow, right?  

So, the week ended with a distinct loss of dignity and the ingesting of several self-pitying bowls of ice cream.  And, evidently, the decision to share my humiliation on the internet.

Grand Slam!

I know we weren't the only ones at Denny's at 6:15 this morning for a free breakfast.  Just tell me: was there a local news crew filming while you were there?  

Frankly, it's bad enough Joe sent this picture to everyone we knew, I certainly hope I'm not broadcast throughout the DC area shoving my pregnant face full of bacon.